BULLSHIT JOB DETECTOR

The investigation is created according to the following process.

1. Case Registration Office

   • Official Registration Form IBBD-27A
   • Submitted Evidence Review
   ↓

2. Classification Office

   • Graeber Signal Classification
   • Score & Confidence Assessment
   ↓

3. IBBD Investigation Report

   • Final Category Determination
   • Prepare the final report in the language of the job posting
   • Case Report Issued

Absolutely not.

The Bureau investigates activities, not professions.

Two people with the same job title may receive completely different Bullshit Scores because they spend their working days doing different things.

Yes.

A useful profession can still contain a significant amount of organisational nonsense.

For example, a nurse who spends hours documenting patient care is not performing the same activity as a nurse who is actually providing patient care.

No.

Some consultants solve difficult problems.

Others schedule meetings to discuss scheduling future meetings.

The Bureau investigates the difference.

No.

It means that the investigated activities appear to contribute less value than the time, money and human effort they consume.

Our AI investigators analyse the submitted job posting using David Graeber's framework.

The final score represents an evidence-based assessment - not an objective truth.

Appeals may be submitted mentally.

Certainly.

Anonymous submissions are accepted.

The Bureau strongly recommends avoiding eye contact with management while doing so.

No.

The Bureau is entirely fictional.

The paperwork, however, feels remarkably authentic.

Budget constraints.

Unfortunately, the funding request is currently awaiting approval from the Committee for Strategic Resource Allocation, the Subcommittee for Procurement Oversight and the Working Group on Library Asset Governance.

Estimated processing time: 18-36 months.

Congratulations.

You may continue making the world a slightly less absurd place.

Certainly.

We'd hate to become the very bureaucracy we're investigating.

Please complete Forms IBBD-17A, 17B, 17C and 17D, attach supporting evidence in triplicate and submit your appeal to the Appeals Review Committee.

The Committee will first determine whether your appeal qualifies for a preliminary review of its eligibility for formal consideration.

Estimated processing time: 4-6 business eternities.

Officially, the IBBD has no policy on workplace romance.

Unofficially... our department heads have dedicated their lives to studying highly specific organizational phenomena. This has had... side effects.

As for me: I begin every conversation with, "Thank you for your inquiry." Every answer ends with, "Please refrain from further follow-up questions."

Nigel Nodsworth once got engaged and broke up at the same time because he agreed with both sides.

Douglas Bullhorn of the Goon Division communicates exclusively at an indoor volume of 95 decibels. He considers every conversation a staff assembly.

Archibald Patchwell has never been on a date because he always tries to repair the relationship before it has begun.

Evelyn Prudence Checkmark of the Box-Ticker Division maintains a spreadsheet with 437 selection criteria. The only applicant who met every required field was rejected for a formatting error.

Victoria Delegator schedules every date with a kick-off, two alignment meetings, a midterm review and a lessons-learned session. No second date has yet been reached.

Tatjana Liveja Tickerova documents even her own dates live: BREAKING: Positive developments confirmed. First kiss imminent.